We have all heard the horror stories of parents and their children pooping everywhere in public, or kids saying things in public that are embarrassing. The more kids you have, it's more likely that something like this will happen. I have more than my fair share of these stories, but I'll share this one first.
I'll start by saying this, all of my kids are different in so many ways. I've had to learn how to read each one of them when it comes to different things such as not feeling well or coming down with something. Herbie will just flat out tell me when he is sick, Leah thinks she is always sick or hurt and Alex doesn't seem to have any idea until it's too late.
It's been about a year now, but one morning as we were eating breakfast, Alex told us his belly burped while he was peeing. This made Herbie laugh, which created a domino effect of laughter at the table. I chalked it up to the boys being silly and forgot about it.
That evening, everyone decided they wanted pizza, so I took the family to the local pizza buffet which also has a game room the kids like to play in. I have a rule that the boys have to at least eat two plates of either salad/pizza/pasta before they can hit the game room. If not, they would eat one slice of pizza, go play, then come back for three plates of desserts. Both boys finished their minimum food requirements and ran off to play. Emily, Leah and I slowly ate and enjoyed our food when my stomach sent me a message that things were not right. I made my way to the men's room and into the stall, when I heard a bit of a commotion outside the bathroom. I sat down and began to wonder, did a fight break out at the buffet line? Is the place being held up at gun point? What the heck is going on? That's when I began to hear the words "Dad" "Dad". They were faint at first but getting louder. As the person came closer to the bathroom, I realized it was Alex calling out for me. He pushed the door open and Immediately threw up in the doorway. He was crying and had vomit dripping off his chin. I asked if he was ok and tried to settle him down. Between the tears, snot and goo dripping from his face, I could hardly understand a word he was saying. He finally settled down and tells me, not only did he throw up on our table in the dining area, but he also puked on the table of some in innocent bystanders on his mad dash to come find me. It was in that moment, that I realized his burping belly was so much more and I should have paid better attention.
The bathroom doorway is now blocked by Lake Alex and smells a lot like a turkey farm in the middle of July. Since I don't have the ability to just hop over it to exit the room. In my mind, I have two options. Option one, walk through it, find my family and try to get the heck out as soon as possible. Or, option two, wait in the bathroom until someone can clean a pathway for me to get out, then face the destruction Alex had left behind. Leah, who I'm sure was dying inside of embarrassment, had rounded up the others, so they were all ready to go. I then heard someone ask Alex if he was ok, to which he replied, "yes I'm ok, but my Dad is trapped in the bathroom." Well.....there goes option number one! Thankfully the staff along with those whom were affected by hurricane Alex, were all great and understanding. They told me to get him home and not worry about the mess left behind. I'm sure what they wanted to say was, "Get that kid out of here before we lose all of our customers." Needless to say, this is a restaurant I try not to go back to if at all possible, though that list continues to grow unfortunately. I'll save the Belgium Waffle House, Chinese restaurant and Dillons stories for another time.
If your child ever has a "burping belly", you may want to think about staying home and having soup and crackers for dinner.