There are 206 bones in the adult body. I have probably broken a quarter of them, and have literally broken bones from my head to my toes. I am currently healing from a cracked femur, and have had six weeks to think back on all those prior injuries. This blog post will be the tale of the 207th bone!
In past blogs, I have written about my temporary paralysis from the waist down. Not being able to move my legs, was the most terrifying feeling ever, and not just because my legs would not do what I was asking of them, but also the fear that “Private Cody” might not ever be able to report for duty again. Fortunately, the outcome was a positive one. Years later, Herbert Cody the 6th would be produced and born.
The one thing Emily and I never had a lack of, was passion. She was in her mid twenties, while I was in my mid thirties, when we were married. Almost four years into our marriage, I was forced to send Em to a rehab facility for her alcohol addiction. This is something I’ve blogged about in the past. Emily would spend a month away from the kids and I. On the weekends, I was able to make the 6 hour, round trip drive, to visit and be with her. The facility would allow married couples to stay in a private room when a spouse came to visit, otherwise they each stayed in a room with a roommate.
Emily checked in to the facility two days after Christmas, on Friday, December 27, 2013. One week seemed like an eternity to be without her. Friday, January 3rd, 2014 had arrived, and I could hardly contain my excitement. Emily had spent the first week detoxing, so when I arrived, she looked fantastic. She was just as happy to see me, as I was to see her. We were allowed to leave the premises, and go to dinner. Once we were finished eating, we went back to the facility, where she introduced me to many of the people she had gotten to know there. We sat in a commons area, watched some tv and I talked football with several of the guys. This included a former professional baseball player, whose name I won’t reveal.
By 9pm, I was ready to go to our tiny room with a double sized bed, where we could have some time to ourselves. These rooms reminded me of something from a childhood Summer camp. It had gotten very cold and the snow began to fall, as we made the slow walk to our cement hut. All I could think about, was how HOT things were about to get. Little did I know, exactly 6 years and 6 months to the day, in which I had suffered so many near fatal injuries from a car accident, that I would endure the most gruesome and horrifying injury of them all!
With all that had been going on, it had probably been a couple of weeks since we had been intimate. Our emotions were all out of whack. As I had expected, we barely got the door shut, before all clothing was on the floor. I was thrown to the bed, and without going into great detail, my wife was aggressively prepared to “save a horse, ride a cowboy”.
As it turns out, while the penis can’t be considered the 207th bone, it sure can be fractured!!! Here is the Wikipedia definition, “Penile fracture is a rupture of one or both of the tunica albuginea, the fibrous coverings that envelop the penis's corpora cavernosa. It is caused by rapid blunt force to an erect penis, usually during vaginal intercourse.” My definition of “blunt force to an erect penis”..... “having one’s spouse or partner bounce up and down with great vigor, as if to be using a trampoline.”
The first several minutes of our conjugal encounter were amazing. We were like a couple of 18 year old newlyweds, devouring each other with immense passion. Suddenly, there was a loud, startling, POP!!! Something didn’t feel right....I looked directly at Emily, and was stunned to see the splatter of blood on her face, her chin, chest and arms. What had just happened? I was initially quite shocked and confused! Emily looked down, then screamed and jumped up. “Herb, you are bleeding”, she yelled! I looked down and saw my still, somewhat erect unit, pumping out blood with every beat of my heart. I quickly grabbed and squeezed it. I had to close the “head wound”. Emily frantically called to the front desk and told them there was an accident and she needed help. She threw on some clothes, face still covered in blood, as I lay naked on my back, trying not to bleed out, through my member. Suddenly a nurse burst through the door. I could instantly see the apprehension in her eyes. She had just walked into what appeared to be, a crime scene. Em began to explain the circumstances which led to the walls, ceiling and bed, being covered in blood. In the middle of the explanation, a night manager and another employee showed up. Next, a janitor, then a team of firemen, and finally the paramedics.
As I lay there naked and afraid, holding my bloody and wounded soldier, there are now, no less than 10 people hovering over me. Each of them seem more confused than the next, as I try to explain what had occurred. It was as if they were looking for the knife or the smoking gun, that had been involved in this crime of passion.
Once I had convinced them that my wife had not tried to murder me, they put some blankets on me and put me on a stretcher. Because our room was off the beaten path, they couldn’t get the ambulance very close. They had to carry me outside through the snowy cold conditions. Not only that, but every person in the facility was eagerly awaiting to see who or what would exit our room. I felt like a bull being paraded throughout the village before being sacrificed.
I made it into the ambulance, without being thrown into a pit of fire. My hand began to cramp during the 20 minute ride to the University of Missouri medical center. The paramedic explained that he had never seen this type of injury in his ten years on the job. I listened as he tried to explain my injury to the ER. Once we arrived, they wheeled me into a room and in a bed. At this point, Captain Cody, is far from attentive. The two female nurses, ask me to remove my hand so they may examine. One says, “I’ve never seen an injury like this.”, “Where did the blood come from?”, the other asks me. The hours of tests that followed, would include dyes, MRI’s and an inflated prod down the hole.
My fractured penis would just need time to heal. I would find out very quickly, it is impossible to control what’s going on down there, in the dead of sleep. Nocturnal penile erections occur during Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep (the phase during which we dream). The first morning, I woke up in a pool of my own blood. The next night, I put down pee pads and towels. Again, I woke up in a puddle of blood, though much less. After about a week, the morning puddles had become drops of blood in my shorts.
For any men that might be reading this, I’ll just leave some info I found, from Medical News Today........
The injury usually happens when a man is thrusting against the pubic bone or the perineum, which can cause the corpus cavernosum to snap or break.
Men are not necessarily having rough sex when a fracture occurs, but may be in a position where the penis is more likely to hit against a bone.
However, a penile fracture has also been known to occur in the following circumstances:
• rolling over in bed onto an erect penis
• hitting an erect penis on something, such as a door frame or furniture
• falling onto an erect penis